Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Waiting by, L.SolitarioMy walls are caving in,
Darkness smothers me.
I have no where to turn.
I have no one to help me.
No one wants to save me."
They can't see the pain reflected in my eyes.
They can't see that any moment I might collapse.
Collapse in sorrow,
in anger,
and in pain."
I wish someone would see the pain I am in.
I wish I could be held by protective arms while I collapse.
I wish I could just be held,
But for now I will wait for the walls to collapse.
I will wait for protection that will never come.
I will wait for friendship,
I will wait for love."
very pretty angsty poem. love it. its really beautiful.
first wk of term 3 is ending. the yr end is drawing nearer, i'll miss my class, 4IT.
& 7:00 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
Monday, June 26, 2006
my parents think i got BGR. how far frm the truth they are. the only one i love now is God.. maybe one day, there'll be a man.. but now, its me and God.
i hope sch will be better.
i wanna see CCHMS gals grow.
i wanna see CCHMS grow. ahh well...
may Your light guide us.
& 12:04 AM
stuck in reverse ♥
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Dennis & Jasmine Loh - married
Jesslyn & Florence- *ahem*
Shern & Shane Lim - couple
Lee Yan & Lee Ying - *coughs*
Maurise, Nigel and Nicholas Seah- threesome
Mabel & Kim - ...
JOKING!!!! JOKING!!!!
they are all siblings, in blood. all in church and all in east.
ahh, i wish my brother can serve w/ me. i really yearn to see my brother coming to know God.
wouldn't it be great, to know dat when ever u need prayer, someone at home
understands..you are not alone in your "insanity", not "crazy" on ur own..
someone who understands cg, svc, evax and all the words dat you speak.
someone who values God and his kingdom with you.
someone who brings Christ into your family in another way.
wouldn't it be great, when ur sibling knows Christ too?
its not a number game. my siblings, my family, matter.
ahh.
RAINi love to stay up all night and listen to the
thunder.as it rumbles lowly,as it warns,as it comes after the brief flash of lightning,as it is the calm before the storm.i love to stay up all night, waiting for it to
rain.
the calm before the storm,the peace that it brings,the silence that speaks a thousand words,waiting for the rain to sing.i love to stay up all night,
listening to the rain.
as it washes over me,as it cleanses my soul,as it gives me new life,and fills silence's empty hole.i really love the rain la. its so cool. when there is only me and God, late in the night, i really await the rain that comes pouring down. it gives peace and so much warmth. it is really very wonderful.
i think of it as the Holy Spirit,
and i dislike it when it stops,
i wish it'll nv stop raining,
so that i can always hear its song.
really enjoy the rain. dunno why. =)
i am a rain person.
ahh,well.
blessed,
sw
ahen, too much hwk to be done. & 11:38 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
Thursday, June 22, 2006
holidays are ending soon. i am spending the rest of it on winx, prom dresses and fanfic.
i am insane, i know.
honestly though, i really cannot stand the fact that o'lvl are so freaking near. its drivin me up the wall. ahh, heck.
if only i can say, "i don't give a flying f**k about o'lvls!"
ahh, if only. my life revolves around studying. i used to say i enjoy studying, but now i realise, i only enjoy studying out side the classroom, st my own leisure, with the subjects i enjoy and specialise at.
now have to be enclosed in a classroom, studying hard to break free of the four walls.
i am nv going to study in a classroom once i can stop doing so. i think i'll make a good missionary. i like to travel, all over.
i wanna bring God to places where He is not known... would be cool. definitely cool.
ahh, life.
being driven up the wall, well, life.
oh wadev-...
haha.
truly blessed,
shiwei.
& 12:53 AM
stuck in reverse ♥
Monday, June 19, 2006
well, life is always an adventure. today spent the whole day at home slacking ard, playing SimCoaster and reading.
i wonder, is it better for me to have my com and internet or not?
sometimes, its really bad. this is the last week of the holidays, i dread going back to sch, still have abt 6 yrs more of education to go, its tiring, having to study all the time. i rather learn at my own pace, but the reason i am going to study hard, is so that when the time comes, i can choose what i want to study, and not be forced into studying what i don't want to.
i wan to travel the world, and write and evanglise. i dislike being bound, by rules and places, i wanna fly.
i said it, no more dreams of glory or wealth, i wanna serve to my best, i wanna be a servant..
o'lvls are super near, gonna be in deep pressure...
can't wait to go for mission trip at EOY, i will do well for prelims and o'lvls...
ahh, life is like dat, if only life was a dream...
well, God will guide and He'll definitely give me the best. =)
He's a great Dad.
amen.
let me let go. & 8:32 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
hwk, ahh hwk.
how to finish. so dead, so dead.
chem hwk, well, not slping much tonight.
problem has passed, but i dun think resolved. well. yeah. anyway, thank God for the peace.
=)
amen, God is good, ALL the time.
i see myself serving more in ministry, thank God.
fruits do come after the camp. yay!
better go REST, still have to wake up to do hwk.
Labels: school
& 3:31 AM
stuck in reverse ♥
Saturday, June 17, 2006
hey hey, these 2 days haven been blogging.
stuff happened, how to help my dad? really dun wanna give up on him. haix, he said smth, made me realised tat i really hurt him in some ways, if only i could turn time back. i really dunno wat to do..
i can only pray and hope for the best. i really wanna to have a good relationship with him, waddya thing i can do for father's day? haix, how to make up? how to make up and still strive all the best for God? i really love my dad u know, he's really the best, but sometimes, he just doesn't know wat is it that i do outside...
i hope that we really can reconcile.. pray for me, i need advice..
hope that God will work in his life..
ahh, God, move..
amen..
& 12:27 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
Thursday, June 15, 2006
give it up. give it up. give it up...
CRAP.
TAKE IT ALL.
& 10:07 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
crap. feeling vry burdened abt my family situation. i really dunno what's gonna happen next manx. its insane. i think i am gonna get kicked out of the hse soon. probably have to live in RC. haix.
discontentment comes to my mind when i think abt it. cos it really is not logical. God's kingdom is so beneficial, why can't the ppl in my family see it? its so worth fighting for. its much much better than wat the world had to offer. its illogical, to be so concerned abt the world that we live in. it is NOT our home. the joy and peace, the assurance and security, the love and trust prent in the kingdom of God is boundless. God is there for anyone who trusts and has faith in Him.
i have faith in Him absolutely. where my future is, may i always follow His lead. His plan is the best, so why would i give up something best for something good, that's not the way it works.
my dad says, since the church ppl are so impt to u, let them take care of all your needs. in the past, my dad would say dat abt all the things i am crazy abt, i would often give them up, cos i know that these things would be unable to support me. but the church is different, i was even affirmed abt it during CG. "yes, we are able to if we need to," says my leader. the church can, so that is why i am unwilling to give it up, cos it really is a family. family support each other, and they feel the loss of each and every memeber. everyone is precious, that is the model of wat a REAL family should be like, not a family who disowns u for ur choice of friends or anything. we stick together and help each other thru. at the end, we become a radiant Bride, awaitng the Bridegroom's arrival.
the church, and God's command is worth giving up everything in this world.
from today, no more dreams of glory or watever. i wan to be the lowest, i wan to be the servant of this family. i wan to serve more, i wan to offer more, and give so much more. i know that God is our Provider and our Everything. indeed, God is good.
let me be who You wan me to be.
all i wan, is You.
CG was good, haha. it really is the first 'proper' cg we had in a long time, with all the components present. haha. hope to see it improving much much more.
blessed. really blessed.
& 9:30 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
been sick for the oast 2 days dunno why, nor how.
but it has really taught me a lesson..
my spiritual family is really a family to me now. its so amazing.
i called joy last night after i vomitted and she prayed for me. then today during WFL i was really sick and magdelene accompanied me to the tolietfor quite sometime. thank God for her.
then after WFL, bryan, bernard, joy and pearly prayed for me again.
pearly walked me all the way to taxi stand, and msged me to take care.
the ppl who went for marcom retreat all prayed for me, and they called to ask me if i was alright. they affirmed me and really brought me up.
thank God for all of you who prayed for me. it worked. wow.
tmr got CG. haha. holy com is going to be fun ok? haha.
& 9:46 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
Monday, June 12, 2006
haix, time of trial is near. i dunno wat i can do now. only to trust in Him. its really a time dat i need to grow in faith. and in many other areas.
He is forever my REAL PARENT.
He is the Alpha and Omega.
watched da vinci. its crap. the bk is much better.
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE finale is very nice. AHH!! hope next season is coming up.
so glad nick won.. woohoo!
passion, i am going all out for God.
" i don care what it takes anymore"
- All Day.
AMEN.
all of you will see, by next year march.
& 9:50 PM
stuck in reverse ♥
created a new blog 'cos the prev one had 165 entries w/in half a yr, can u believe it? still same blog add, but a whole new blog. =)
prev blog & 10:30 AM
stuck in reverse ♥
